


Dango

by orphan_account



Series: Miraculous Crack [4]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: AND THIS APPEARED, F/M, I NEEDED TO WRITE SOMETHING WITH DANGO DAIKAZOKU IN IT, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8814208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Adrien watches clannad and tells his friends and gets really, really violent and it just continues as chat fics usually do





	1. DANGO DANGO DANGO DANGO DANGO

**Author's Note:**

> violence warning

 

  
**adrilen** : so guys

  
**alyr:** what

  
**ninuh** : what

  
**marinettel** : for real what do you want

  
**adrilen** : so I was watching this anime right 

   
**alyr** : OH GOD

  
**ninuh** : bruh

  
**alyr** : NERD PATROL

  
**marinettel** : what were you saying

  
**ninuh** : wee-oo

  
**alyr** : WEE-OO

  
**adrilen** : im serious

  
**adrilen** : like

  
**adrilen** : I'm so emotional right now

  
**ninuh** : damn baby's using big words

 

**alyr** : baybes growing so fast

  
**ninuh** : what

 

**alyr** : it's three in the morning

  
**ninuh** : oh

  
**marinettel** : am I the only one interested in what adriens talking about

  
**adrilen** : bless

  
**adrilen** : here

  
**adrilen** : <https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0I6YfDGDOc4>

 

**adrilen** : dango tho

  
**alyr** : the fuck

  
**ninuh** : bay bang usage

  
**adrilen** : WOAH

  
**ninuh** : *language

 

**marinettel** : is there some bang usage we need to know about?

  
**ninuh** : bruhs shut up

  
**ninuh** : but for real

  
**alyr** : the fuck is a dango

 

 

( _ **adrilen has left the chat**_ )

 

( _ **alyr added adrilen to the chat**_ )

 

  
**alyr** : you didn't answer my question

  
**adrilen** : who even are you

 

**marinettel** : what

  
**adrilen** : I can't

  
**adrilen** : "what is a dango"

  
**adrilen** : the fuck is wrong with you

  
**ninuh** : uhh

  
**adrilen** : I thought we were friends

  
**ninuh** : baby's getting fired up

  
**marinettel** : I feel like I should run

  
**adrilen** : I thought you were cool

  
**alyr** : calm down bae

  
**adrilen** : CALM DOWN

  
**adrilen** : ??????????????????????????????????????

  
**adrilen** : I will murder you

  
**ninuh** : I suggest you run alya

  
**adrilen** : _I WILL MURDER YOU I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT IN YOUR SLEEP I WILL CUT YOUR TONGUE OFF TO DROWN IN YOUR OWN BLOOD_

  
**alyr** : oh damn

  
**alyr** : italics

  
**marinettel** : someone's been playing too much corpse party

  
**adrilen** : IM COMING

  
**adrilen** : IM COMING FOR YA

  
**adrilen** : IM BRINGING THE BIGGEST KNIFE

  
**ninuh** : he'll do it

  
**alyr** : uh

  
**marinettel** : I suggest you skip country as fast as possible because Adrien is quiet that means that he is coming

  
**alyr** : wait for real 

  
**ninuh** : don't mess with his anime bae

  
**alyr** : HES AT MY HOUSE

  
**alyr** : HES ON MY ROOF

  
**marinettel** : told you

  
**adrilen** : HOLA BITCH

  
**alyr** : HE FOR REAL HAS A KNIFE

  
**alyr** : HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST

  
**adrilen** : IM GONNA GET YA BITCH


	2. christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANYONE ELSE SEE THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL ON YOUTUBE I WAS LIKE AHHHHH O MY GOD ITS A MUSICAL????? AHHHHHHH

  
**adrilen** : great Christmas you guys

 

  
**ninuh** : let's wrap it up

 

  
**marinettel** : like a coach after a game or something 

 

  
**alyr** : "great game you guys"

 

  
**ninuh** : or a director "great footage you guys let's wrap it up"

 

  
**adrilen** : why am I even friends with you guys

 

  
**adrilen** : I have better friends on tumblr

 

  
**ninuh** : do I smell fire

 

  
**marinettel** : I approve of that burn

 

  
**alyr** : Im hurt

 

  
**adrilen** : I was too yesterday

 

  
**alyr** : you were _soo hurt_ with you and your goddamn _dango_ like

 

  
**ninuh** : bae I kinda want you to live bae watch it

 

  
**adrilen** : dont 

 

  
**adrilen** : even

 

  
**marinettel** : yeah

 

  
**marinettel** : I made my own dango and it was great

 

  
**adrilen** : 1) marry me

 

  
**adrilen** : 2) why the fuck didnt you tell me

 

  
**marinettel** : well excuse me for wanting to perfect the recipe FOR YOU

 

  
**alyr** : I ship so hard

 

  
**ninuh** : kiss already

 

  
**adrilen** : marry me now

 

  
**adrilen** : I can totally ask my father for some rings right now

 

  
**marinettel** : please not yet

 

  
**marinettel** : I want to have sex on our honeymoon and were too young for that

 

  
**adrilen** : OH SHIT

 

  
**ninuh** : Alya look 

 

  
**ninuh** : examples

 

  
**alyr** : this ship is killing me Im actually physically hurting right now

 

  
**marinettel** : you should get that checked 

 

  
**marinettel** : I dont think shipping is supposed to hurt

 

  
**adrilen** : Marinette you will never understand 

 

  
**adrilen** : what it is like 

 

  
**adrilen** : to truly ship

 

  
**alyr** : true

 

  
**ninuh** : see you two are getting along

 

  
**adrilen** : fellow shippers are alyways welcome 

 

  
**alyr:** ha nice one

 

_**(marinettel has left the chat)** _

 

_**(adrilen added marinettel to the chat)** _

 

  
_**(adrilen changed their name to**_ Sansta _ **)**_  


 

  
**Sansta** : should've thought of this earlier

 

  
**alyr** : the fuck

 

  
**adrilen:** do you not know what undertale is?

 

  
**adrilen:** I was playing a song from it the other day when we were playing chutes and ladders

 

  
**alyr:** oh

 

  
**ninuh:** bae no

 

  
_**(ninuh changed their name to**_ bae _ **no)**_  


 

  
**bae no** : read the signs baee plz

 

  
**alyr** : so is it safe to say that

 

_**(marinettel changed their name to Read the Signs)** _

 

  
**Read the Signs** : Alya please

 

  
**Sansta** : you should listen

 

  
**alyr** : undertale sucks

 

**_(Sansta has left the chat)_ **

 

  
**bae no** : I warned you

 

  
**Read the Signs** : Alya I love you but shit

 

  
**alyr** : someone's knocking at my door how to fuck does he get here so fast

 

  
**alyr** : thank god he doesn't have a knife

 

  
**alyr** : he just told my parents "thanks for coming this Christmas" gave me the darkest glare mankind has ever seen, and left

 

  
**alyr** : like, I saw hell in those green orbs

 

_**(Sansta changed their name to memesrgood)** _

 

  
**memesrgood** : Alya I swear to god

 

_**(Read the Signs changed their name to sexytimes)** _

 

  
**sexytimes** : what do you engage in hate sex

 

  
**memesrgood** : WHYA

 

  
**alyr** : n o

 

_**(bae no has changed their name to firetapes)** _

 

  
**firetapes** : I thought

 

  
**firetapes:** there's just so much hate love

 

  
**sexytimes:** I could ship it

 

  
**sexytimes:** oh god

 

  
**sexytimes:** _I so ship it_  


 

  
**memesrgood:** now do you understand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spacings weird???? like on my phone its regular spacing, in the writing box its regular spacing, but in the finished work it's like, double spaced??? idek


	3. What Why is he randomly singing i have no idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adrien singing randomly and more pointless and unnecessary alya hate

  
**sexytimes** : the f u c k

 

  
**memesrgood** : what

 

  
**alyr** : math offends me

 

  
**firetapes** : #relatable

 

  
**memesrgood** : I'm good at math sometimes 

 

  
**memesrgood** : but like

 

  
**memesrgood** :tonight

 

  
**memesrgood** :the mere mention of 

 

  
**memesrgood** : e f f o r t

 

  
**memesrgood** : Just

 

  
**alyr** : preach

 

  
**sexytimes** : same just

 

  
**sexytimes** : my brain stops and i forget how to properly hthink

 

  
**firetapes** : who wants to not do math and just chill

 

  
**memesrgood** : dare yori taisetsu na kimi ni 

 

  
**alyr** : the fuck

 

  
**sexytimes** : shhh he's singing

 

  
**memesrgood** : aisarenai koto o osorete

 

  
**firetapes** : just googled it

 

  
**firetapes** : it's this starduster song or whatever

 

  
**memesrgood** : I was thinking

 

  
**memesrgood** : nino

 

memesrgood: that when I grow up

 

  
**memesrgood** : we could be a firetapes duo

 

  
**firetapes** : is that our name

 

  
**alyr** : firetapes sounds cool

 

  
**memesrgood** : n o o n e a s k e d y o u

 

  
**sexytimes** : hatesex im telling you 

 

  
**firetapes** : yes

 

  
**alyr** : I'm just trying to be nice

 

  
**alyr** : unlike you

 

( _memesrgood kicked alyr out of the chat_.)

 

( _memesrgood changed their name to StraightSavage_ )

 

  
**StraightSavage** : I'm feeling brutal

 

  
**sexytimes** : h a t e s e x ahhhhhhh

 

  
**firetapes** : Alya bae what have you done

 

( _sexytimes added alyr to the chat_ )

 

  
**StraightSavage** : I feel so betrayed

 

  
**alyr** : the fuck is up man

 

  
**StraightSavage** : I'm feeling the hatesex right now

 

  
**sexytimes** : oh it's canon hell yes

 

  
**alyr** : why am I being so bullied like why Nino help

 

  
**firetapes** : now Adrien

 

  
**firetapes** : I know Alya can be a bit bitchy

 

  
**alyr** : I'll ignore that

 

  
**firetapes** : but she's really cool, also, remember?

 

  
**sexytimes** : Oh god 'to sooth the savage beast'

 

  
**alyr** : lol savage beast

 

  
**StraightSavage** : N O O N E A S K E D Y O U

 

( _StraightSavage kicked alyr out of the chat_.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will i ever stop this and why the fuck am i abusing alya shes actually cool like what

**Author's Note:**

> Adrien is really defensive of clannad for some reason
> 
> Also, texts lost in the fire:
> 
> alyr: Marinette you get the lady blog pursue my dream 4 me Nino gets my computer my family gets everything else
> 
> alyr: OH GOD
> 
> ninuh: uhh
> 
> marinettel: should we interfere
> 
> ninuh: hell no
> 
> ninuh: I want that computer


End file.
